Eric Marro's Cronobash BBQ

Saturday, July 31, 1999

What city:

• Is just over the border?
• Is full of shoddy discount retail establishments?
• Has hordes of unskilled workers toiling long hours for pitiful pay?
• Has a water supply so bad, you wouldn't drink it to save your best friend's life?
• Houses thousands of residents who climb into claptrap vehicles and cross over the border each day seeking decent wages?

Sound like . . . Tijuana?

Wrong!

It's . . .

Nashua! Home of the CRONOBASH!!!

The one and only kick your mo-phoe ass BBQ and brew festival, hosted by Eric "The Cronoman" Marro!

New! Mexican theme in honor of Nashua's shithole status!

A little taste of T-J right here in New England!

The Cronoman is already gathering fowl for the grill.

SPONSORS!

Congratulations to Super Mario for his 4 TDF stage wins, even if Steels did get boned by the race jury. Steels is no stranger to the big-throbbing TDF reamer, having been tossed out of the event once before (for swatting a bug on an opponent's helmet with his water bottle during a stage finish). Tour fans may also wish to take note of the lingering bruise on the side of race commentator John Eustice's head. Astute observers may remember that Team BOB class act Jimmy O'Mara got a bit bored with Mr. Eustice's racing advice in the Killington Criterium and like Steels, let fly with the water bottle, carreening the polyethylene projectile off Eustice's head and into the VIP spectator area, taking out the Mayor of Rutlands eight months pregnant wife! Like Steels, O'Mara was ejected from the race, and has only recently recovered from the mental anguish and humiliation which followed the incident.

The Cronoman's BBQ thanks Northwave and Mario for their continuing inspiration! The Lion King unpinned his numbers on Stage 9 and caught the first plane to the Riviera, perhaps to rest up for the BBQ. Like Marro, Mario is not a man for the big cols.

COMING SOON! CONFESSIONS OF A CIPPO GROUPIE!

Are Moriarty's feminist attacks on Mario and Northwave just a coverup?

All proceeds to benefit "New Hampshire Republicans for Social Responsibility"

OK, we admit there are even fewer of those than there are :

"Team BOB Riders for Hillier Race Courses"

so I guess we'll just keep the dough if it's all right with you.

Stay tuned for details!

The man himself.

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